I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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