remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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