OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
