ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
