White coat. Heels.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
