he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I haven't been this sober since birth.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
