At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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