sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
