found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
