Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
