By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
