apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
