I CAN MOONWALK!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
