Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just pynch a tree in the face
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
