I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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