Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
