Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
