My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
