fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
