you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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