okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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