How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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