About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
