It's like God shit irony all over that family
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
