So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
