I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
