were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
