he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
