I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
