I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
