Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
