WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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