He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
