I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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