So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
