Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
