Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
