I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
this is an emotional support booty call
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
