What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
