i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
