I'm going to jail i love you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it glows. i had to have it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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