Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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