Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In America we eat man semen.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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