so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
