he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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