your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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