Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
