Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
