I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
