i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
