What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
