dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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